โ ๏ธ ๐ฌ๐ผ๐ ๐๐ต๐ถ๐ป๐ธ ๐ถ๐'๐ ๐ฎ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ณ๐ผ๐ฟ๐บ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐ถ๐๐๐๐ฒ, ๐ฏ๐๐ ๐ง๐๐๐ฆ ๐๐ถ๐บ๐ฒ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ผ๐ป ๐ถ๐ ๐ต๐๐ฟ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด
(And I recognise the signsโbecause I once showed up to work while bleeding)
A manager called me in after weeks of frustration.
โณ A team member was missing deadlines
โณ Quiet in meetings
โณ Slow to respond
โณ And the team was losing patience
On paper, it looked like underperformance.
But something felt off.
Iโve dealt with hundreds of performance issues - and this didnโt track.
The avoidance wasnโt strategic.
The silence wasnโt defensive.
It looked like burnout. But deeper.
And I know from experienceโwhen trauma is involved, people wonโt open up to someone who controls their salary.
They need space.
Neutrality.
Safety.
So I stepped in - not just as HR, but as someone who knows the difference between laziness and collapse.
Iโve studied this, formally and through lived experience.
One of the most common behaviours following grief, miscarriage, or anxiety disorders is withdrawal.
But when managers donโt know the signs, they interpret it as attitude.
And thatโs how mistakes happen.
We push people when we should pause.
We escalate when we should investigate.
I didnโt want that to happen here.
So I arranged a quiet, off-the-record wellbeing conversation.
No formal agenda.
No power dynamic.
Just me, listeningโwith no assumptions.
And what they told me still sits in my chest.
Theyโd been suffering with insomnia and panic attacks.
Their partner had miscarried five weeks earlier.
They hadnโt told anyone.
They were terrified it would affect how they were seen at work.
Iโve been in that seat.
Over a decade ago, I miscarried.
And my boss responded by piling on more pressure.
They knew.
And they chose to ignore it.
I remember what it felt like to turn up in pain - and be made to feel invisible.
Thatโs why I now lead the way I do.
Hereโs what I didโbecause of what I saw, what I felt, and what Iโve learned to look for:โณ Delayed formal action, while keeping a protected legal trail
โณ Reframed the conversation around capacity, not character
โณ Clarified boundaries while offering choice in support
โณ Trained the manager on how to follow up without overstepping
โณ And built internal escalation routes for trauma-related disclosures
โ๏ธ Within 4 weeks, performance returned
โ๏ธ Trust was re-established
โ๏ธ The manager avoided unnecessary escalation
โ๏ธ The team got back on track
โ๏ธ And a talented employee stayedโwhen they were on the verge of leaving
This is what HR should be.
Not policy.
Practice.
Not templates.
Leadership.
And if youโve ever wondered what trauma-informed HR actually looks like -
This is it.
This is me.
As your all-inclusive HR department for less than minimum wage.
Think youโre dealing with a performance issue?
It could be something much deeper.
Lets chat-
https://lnkd.in/eSXgRSX5
