I should have spotted the red flags. Maybe I could have avoided all of that trauma?
A decade ago, my narcissistic boss showed his true colours.
He started off as a ânice managerâ:
â told us about his past stories especially about his ex-wife
â kept talking about how he met his new wife
â talked about an unfortunate miscarriage his ex-wife had
â asked about everyoneâs personal life to show he cared
â booked plenty of catchup meetings to allow everyoneâs voices to heard but didnât really want to hear what we had to say
â dictated almost everything even to where people sat. Was it just burning passion for his business or should I have realised this was odd behaviour?
What happened next connected the dots.
Sadly, I suffered an unfortunate miscarriage that year. I took a few days out of work and my boss became increasingly annoyed at my âsickness absenceâ. I had to tell him why I was âunwellâ. Heâd support me right?
WRONG!
This narcissistic boss threatened to have my job if I didnât return to work. He spoke of his company needing employees at work. He believed that the time off I had âshouldâve resolved my issueâ. He bullied me for having to be off work to recover from a miscarriage.
No support or compassion for what I had gone through. And if you remember from above, he and his ex-wife actually experienced the same.
Of course, I resigned. When I resigned he continued to bully me and he rejected my resignation- said I should rethink it and come back next week! No recognition for his own behaviour.
This experience developed into trauma and I kept the story close to my heart for a decade. I donât know why I didnât talk about this story for years. Perhaps I never truly got over it. But it did shape my career.
This experience led me to my career in HR and leadership.
I donât owe anything to him, of course. I owe everything to God and what I do understand is that all of our paths lead us to where we are today.
If youâre a manager, team leader, business owner or anybody who has influence of others at work then please take the time to educate yourselves on leadership abilities.
HR is everything for a business. Itâs how you operate as an employer to avoid tribunals and retain great staff. Leadership is about understanding those HR initiatives to really make a difference in others lives and position yourself as a person of influence- this is huge. People remember this and it could shape their lives, good or bad.
